My mom told him not to bother because my brother was just looking for attention

"Gaslighting Games: The Manipulative Power to Play with People’s Minds and Control Them for Life" by Emory Green


We are all driven by desires and wants and we all have an innate need to control certain aspects of our lives and those of the people around us. We want people to love us a certain way, talk to us in a particular manner, and treat us with respect. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But what if, hypothetically speaking, you or the other person in the relationship is always controlling the outcome of your interactions by being manipulative and using words and actions that push the other party to respond in a manner that is only beneficial to them? Does that make them just selfish or are they gaslighters? (Pg.31)

When parents are gaslighters, lives are lost

Suzie and her mother were close. They always had popcorn dates together when she was a kid and watched their favorite movies. They talked about the boys she liked as a teenager and talked on the phone every day of the week when she went to college. Her mom was a single parent and she was warm, fun, friendly, and beautiful. She also never spoke to her own mom, who was living in a different neighborhood but in the same city.

Growing up, Suzie’s mother refused to take phone calls from her grandmother and Suzie only met and talked to the elderly woman twice or thrice in her life. She found out that her mother had a brother who passed away as a teenager from suicide. As she grew older, she found out that her mother blamed her grandmother for his death. During dinner at her mom’s house one day, she broached the subject of her grandmother, asking about her and why her mom never spoke about her.

“I knew this day would come,” said Suzie’s mom. “Grab that bottle of wine and meet me in the den. I’ll go get some pictures. It’s time you met your uncle and your grandmother.” In the den, Suzie’s mom looked at a picture of a young man who looked like her and was holding her hand. In the picture, Suzie’s mom was grinning at the young man, who looked down on her beaming. “This is your uncle, Tyler. He was so smart and kind and funny. Next to you, he was my favorite person in the whole world. He killed himself when I was 13 years old.” This was the first time Suzie’s mom had spoken about how her brother died.

“My mom was a pathological liar and mean as a rattlesnake and Tyler was her victim of choice. He was too sensitive and she destroyed him day by day until he couldn’t take it anymore. She would lie to him about everything and lie about him, as well. She told him his girlfriend was cheating on him with his best friend and when he confronted the girl, he found out it wasn’t true. They broke up and when my brother confronted my mom, she pretended she didn’t say that and he must have h